You have nothing to fix. You should take people at face value here and especially Gram - he really legit has no qualms, he just got frustrated over the situation and it intensified Much like how you lost your composure, it's no different for anyone here. I really doubt it has anything to do with you specifically Let's flip the assumption upside down: would you tell the players here the same things you're saying to yourself? No? Then you have nothing to be apologetic for, cool cat. Don't be so hard on yourself.