[LIVID] Fuck Obi-Wan Kenobi Episode 3

[Zetta]

Since there's no TV forum, this will have to do. Typing this while the anger is fresh. Spoilers obviously.

So the first two episodes have been an absolute shitshow. Between Reva being a diversity hire mary sue, Kid Leia being literally some psychology major dropout's TOO SMART FOR YOU self-insert and the show breaking canon to have Reva know Anakin is Darth Vader and using it to taunt Obi-Wan, my expectations are below the ground but I am absolutely seething.

So we start with Reeva acting like she's hot shit for telling Vader Obi-wan is a alive. She is, as always, smug and insufferable.
Obi-Wan is shook to find out the human BBQ he left on Mustafar isn't dead. As if in 10 years he never heard of some mass murderer named Darth Vader that coincidentally has the same Darth name as Anakin. They reach some dumbass mining world and Obi-Wan is just being snappy to Leia about everything while she talks her way through literally the entire Empire. This 10 year old is fooling goddamn everyone, Obi-Wan fucks up and they have to fight their way out. They get rescued by some new character who will probably be dead by the end of the show and her loader droid Ben-D or Bender or Ben 10 I don't give a fuck.

She takes them to a safehouse but apparently in the time it takes them to get to get to that safehouse (literally the same day mind you), word has reached Vader on Mustafar and he is fucking there together with Reva, Asian Rice Farmer man and someone else. Just to be clear,Mustafar is at the M, Obi-Wan is in the red circle. Fuck off. That's over 5000 parsecs.

So Vader walks into town like he's the fucking gestapo. Obi-Wan sends Leia and the new girl through a tunnel hidden in a building to escape to Alderaan. This tunnel is, as far as we know, one-way. They start walking first. This is important for later. Vader senses Obi-Wan and just starts randomly murdering people and snapping the necks of children using the force. An absolute fucking shit show of random violence completely uncharacteristic of him.

Obi-Wan runs to a field and fucking Vader is just there already. He whips out his lightsaber, Obi runs but is forced to fight. They banter a bit but it's pretty clear Obi is no match. He manhandles him like he's a red-headed stepchild in need of beatings and Vader is the drunken dad who came home with his belt out and a fire in his belly. So much for when I left you I was but the learner.

Anyway, fucking Leia sends the new character who will die later in the show back to help Obi as she heads further in the tunnel. As this happens, Reva walks into town. Instantly finds the hidden building where the tunnel is, finds the hidden room in the building and the tunnel entrance that the stormtroopers missed. She just fucking finds out of nowhere. Took her two minutes. She heads into the tunnel. Note, she does not meet whatsherface in this same tunnel. They do not pass each other.

Meanwhile Vader creates a wall of fire, chokes Obi and starts BBQ-ing him alive. Remember how how Vader used to be scared of fire? Yeah, nope. Vader pulls him out of the BBQ and dims the fire so his stormtroopers can capture him. Queue whatsherface shooting the fuel on the ground and reigniting the fire. The stupid Ben 10 droid from earlier appears to pick up Obi as Vader just fucking watches AND DOES NOTHING. What the fuck. Vader was choking Obi literally minutes ago from that range and now you're telling me he can't do shit? What a fucking load.

Episode ends with Reva, HAVING IN SOME WAY OR FORM GOTTEN AHEAD OF LEIA IN THE TUNNEL DESPITE NOT PASSING HER NOR KNOWING WHERE SHE WAS GOING, capturing Leia at the end of the tunnel. What the fuck is this teleporting bullshit?

Holy fucking shit DIsney really shit the bed with this one how the fuck did they fuck up this hard

 

[jane]

the only good star wars things are a new hope, empire strikes back & the story of the faithful wookiee

e: also the original ralph mcquarrie art

 

[Aurelian]

And the Prequels and the Clone Wars

Anyway I gave up on Obi-Wan after episode 2, I'm sorry Hayden and Ewan I just can't anymore.

 

[Vermiform]

the only good star wars things are a new hope, empire strikes back & the story of the faithful wookiee

e: also the original ralph mcquarrie art

Totally unbiased opinion ofc!

The only SW novels I ever even attempted to read.

I'm sure Disney will fuck up the Killiks quite thoroughly once they realise they can milk the concept for years.

 

[OtherGalaxy]

honestly finally gave up on Disney Wars after how bad Book of Boba Fett was

rise of skywalker is the worst movie I've ever seen, but Mando was mostly good enough that I thought at least the shows would continue to be decent


I was wrong

 

[Aurelian]

Totally unbiased opinion ofc!

The only SW novels I ever even attempted to read.

I'm sure Disney will fuck up the Killiks quite thoroughly once they realise they can milk the concept for years.

Swarm War/Dark Nest trilogy was interesting

 

[Sigismund]

I gave up on Star Wars after the Last Jedi. I remember talking to my friend in the car after we walked out of the Theater, and neither of us liked it at all and started picking it apart even then.

The only good news I have heard recently is that the KotoR remake may be cancelled, which is good because it means they can't fuck it up just yet.

 

[Aurelian]

I don't know to the day which enrages me more between The Last Jedi/Episode VIII or The Rise of Skywalker/Episode IX. Both are equally truly the lowest of lows and dog-shit but I suppose TLJ is worse because any semblance of coherence or continuity was gutted and thrown into a dumpster fire multi-lane car pile up of chaos by Rian who instigated it.

And I have said it before but while The Mandalorian season 1 was good, season 2 was not as strong and a big part of appreciation for it was because it came on the heels AFTER TLJ released which ended any universal "love" for Disney Star Wars. The Mandalorian simply went from a good show to an amazing one because it was contrasted against two gigantic fuck-ups; TLJ and Solo. Not hard to look even better when you are a 8/10 but look now like a 15/10 next to two uggos like those two.

Continuity?
Respect to George Lucas?
Respect to the legacy/original cast and characters?
Respect to the fans?

All of that was thrown to the wind by Kathleen Kennedy, Rian Johnson, and JJ Abrams along with some of the newer cast throwing shade over being called out for the Sequel's awful dialogues, cringe attempts at aping and mimicking Marvel films quips, the yo momma jokes, the awful over-use of ADR (especially in TLJ and TROS which is due to scenes being re-shot, deleted, or changed post-production), the nonsensical writing, all of it drew together to be such an awful experience people who were never pro or positive about the Prequels look at them with nostalgia compared to the fiasco of the Sequels.

Disney has no one but themselves to blame.

And they continued this with Book of Boba Fett and Obi-Wan. Ironically I think its very evident they are aware with all their attempts to go back to the Clone Wars, Prequel Trilogy era, and the OT period that they can't escape the knowledge no one gives a damn about the Sequels; namely Rey, Snoke, and all that crap with Rose and Finn. They just want to milk the nostalgia cow.

 

[OtherGalaxy]

RoS is for me a million times worse than TLJ. Every week I have some moment where I remember how bad RoS was and I'm just kinda shocked that anything could even be made that incompetently. It doesn't even feel like a movie.

I agree on Mando season 2 not being as good though. Not sure what the general opinion is on this but I wasn't huge on the last episode or the Luke reveal. The return of Bill Burr episode just before it was by far the highlight of the season for me, and could have almost been a good finale on its own. Season 1 had really strong opening and ending episodes, while 2 spent too much time repeating the exact same plot for several episodes in a row.

Overall a decent show and one I'd recommend but also not as good as it's hyped up to be.

 

[Vermiform]

Swarm War/Dark Nest trilogy was interesting

I obviously need to finish it but from what I remember the Killiks could assimilate/brainwash people into their hive including Jedi and they could breed force using castes? Correct me if I'm wrong but those 2 concepts alone are worth exploring. Hell I'd gladly sacrifice the new stuff just to see a swarm of force using bugs attack the galaxy. Fits amazingly well with what makes faceless numberless swarms like these horrifying, the ability to steal what makes you unique and copy it over and over and over into endless drones that while weaker than you can overwhelm anyone with enough pure brute numbers advantage.

Instead we got Papa Palpatine trying to force his "offspring" to commit sweet sweet love in the name of uhhh what was it? Fusing into a Jedi mecha or something.

Also C3PO calling the Killiks in the book a hybrid between Coleoptera (beetles) and Hymenoptera (wasps, bees, ants) genuinely made me smile in the warmest most happiest way I could. Love it when authors do some proper research and actually make sense even if it's technically alien bugs and would have nothing to do with terrestrial organisms... but hey space magic!