The issue isn't what was said.
The issue is a lack of respect in and outside the game.
I don't believe anyone has ill will but "no ill will" only goes so far. There's this underlying enmity I frankly don't care for when it comes down to it.
If someone says, "that was not cool and personally too far for me"? It is commonly met with a smarmy response and explained it wasn't meant to upset and the onus is on the person who does bring it up to not react negatively. To see that it shouldn't be interpreted as X or Y.
But we cannot control how other's react.
I don't want to read "lmao go fuck yourself you daft, sad little animal" if I say "too far for me, homie."
It should simply be:
"That's too far for me personally, stop, the aggression feels unwarranted"
"aight, bet"
And that's the end of it. No doubling down. No "fuck off." No snark. Just an acknowledgement of a boundary someone placed. It doesn't matter how ridiculous the boundary seems, it doesn't matter if you think someone should grow thicker skin. Just acknowledge it, be done with it.
(It goes for both parties - no one should be harping on whatever issue it was after the other party acknowledged it and let it go.)
