Dear Santa,
I hope this letter finds you well and that Mrs. Claus is keeping you on your toes
. I am writing to let you know how good (or at least decent) I have been this year and to make a few demands for Christmas (you owe me big time with your neglectful ass).
First, I would like to request a new pair of socks. I know, I know, it's a boring request, but hear me out: these socks would have pictures of cats smoking week and wearing Santa hats on them. How could you say no to that?
Second, I would like to ask for a time machine. I know it's a tall order, but I promise to use it responsibly (mostly for skipping traffic and long lines at the grocery store). Plus, think of all the milk and cookies you could eat from different time periods with that thicc ass of yours
Lastly, I would like to request a lifetime supply of weed. I know you are the master of getting high on your own supply, so I trust that you can make this happen
I know you are very busy this time of year, so I want to thank you in advance for considering my requests, sucka. I will be sure to leave out a whole tray of cookies (possibly laced to your liking) for you on Christmas Eve.
Sincerely,
Ral with the Kage
P.S. you still a bitch ass