Dear Santa,
Heya, it's Nick, and as per usual you haven't delivered. It's been six years, and I have been wishing for the same thing every year. I want a working spaceship with an interstellar hyperdrive. There are so many aliens out there that have gone unviolated for too long. I am here waiting to violate them. In every way imaginable in the name of the Emperor of Mankind. My dick is an instrument of vengeance. That exists to exterminate the enemies of mankind. Allow it free reign on the galaxy. There are many holes that need to be penetrated. Many aliens that need to be made to love the cock. What are filthy extraterrestrials but ornaments for it? It is their raison d'être. Do not deny them humanity's virile seed.
Love,
Mr. Nick