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Circus of Humorous & Humiliating Arguments Part 5: Diamonds are fleeting. Stupid lasts forever

quick wikipedia quote https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)
The paramedic crew described Charla's injuries as "horrendous".[20] Within the following 72 hours, she underwent more than seven hours of surgery on her face and hands by four teams of surgeons. The hospital provided counseling to staff members who initially treated her because of the extraordinary nature of her wounds.[30] Paramedics noted she had lost her eyes, nose, lips, mid-face bone structure, and 9 fingers.[31] Doctors removed some of Travis's hair and teeth that were embedded in her bones and reattached her jaw, but announced on April 7, 2009 that she would be blind for life. Her injuries made her a possible candidate for an experimental face transplant surgery.
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travis was overweight with xanax in his system, and survived being stabbed in the back with a butcher knife and only died after being shot by police

and theyre proposing a person 1v1 a healthy chimpanzee to the death in hand to hand combat
 
grillmaster said:
quick wikipedia quote https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)


travis was overweight with xanax in his system, and survived being stabbed in the back with a butcher knife and only died after being shot by police

and theyre proposing a person 1v1 a healthy chimpanzee to the death in hand to hand combat
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man they think chimps only bite as a fighting tactics

wait till they learn of the secret tactic of "rips your dick and balls off"
 
Masterblack06 said:




What the fuck am i reading man
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Look at this absolute unit.
i

He can destroy my ass many many ways
 
the whole "animal vs unarmed human" thing is so goddamned funny to me because like, humanitys entire advantage is in our intelligence and tool use, to make up for the fact that we cant sprint 30 mph and snap someones neck with minimal effort

trying to put humans hand to hand against wild animals is removing our literal best asset and of course reddit glazers will pull the "well if the bengal tiger puts me into a situation ill be forced to use lethal force-"

gorillas can run 25 miles per hour, usain bolt can run about 28 mph
googling this i found gorillas can hit with a force of 2700 psi
or hard enough to literally shatter your fucking skull in one hit

i guess technically the gorilla wouldn't "win" because of stamina or whatever and because theres probably hundreds of UFC guys but does that really even count as a win for the humans if the gorilla just one shots everyone until it gets bored or tired and then what will they do, its still a fucking gorilla what are you gonna arm bar it
put it in a choke hold
 
That, and our ability to run over large distances for an extended period of time (sweat is kind of overpowered)

which helps for persistence hunting.. and not so much when we're the ones being hunted or chased
 
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