me? definitely my insecurity and tendency to second guess everything, it's pretty much a wholesale negative and has fucked more than a few things up for me (tho it HAS gotten somewhat better with age)
Losing my paralysing insecurity would have done wonders for my creative pursuits, that's for sure. Sometimes I look at something I wrote years ago and, distanced from my past self by time, I'm able to realise that I actually had some really neat ideas sometimes. It'd be nice to feel that in the moment too.
I overcame my largest issue. Hopelessness.
My next? Laziness. I feel like I could do it all if I could just muster the effort to care enough about certain things.
I'm not done growing but my brain has certainly reached a point where I have very little left to regret about how it works.
That it would stop repeating my personal drama from roughly 3 years ago, and getting into the same, cyclical argument with the image of that person I have conjured up in my brain. :/
...and that it would stop trying to insert that into whatever wacky dream I'm having.
That's a loaded question to ask someone with autism, my friend.
Like the immediate thought might be to say negate all that.
But if you've gotten to a point in your life where you've found semi-okay ways to cope, and your personality has grown up and developed around it, would you change ALL of that?
I'm adhd like a mother fucker straight up wish I could focus on stuff like school, kids events and daily tasks the way I can with this hobby, manga, comics and sports. Gets turned to depression and my brain feeling fried alot
As someone with high-functioning autism as well, I get where Kaigainiki is coming from, but sometimes I just wish I didn't have it.
I'm constantly misreading situations and getting people pissed off at me and I hate it.
Despite how much I've learned to cope with and work around it, I still feel like it's holding me back.
I don't think I would. However flawed I am, that's who I am. It's remarkable in terms of probability to even be alive, consider the sheer magnitude of those odds in terms of all the history that led to you.