Pizza Hut hits back after diner’s complaint about its ‘sexualised’ tomato sauce bottle

[Odd]

And ofc this is in Australia. Why the fuck are Australians so whiny? Like you can handle spiders the size of your head but a ketchup bottle is what gets you? A man sitting with his legs open?

Australia was a mistake.

You were a mistake

 

[Nep Nep]

You were a mistake

That's what my parents tell me.

 

[One Last Username]

I sense a whole new ketchup category opening up on Pornhub.

 

[Dr. Watson]

also ranch dressing is gross, it’s like a consolation prize to fat ppl like yeah, we get it, you don’t like salads, have some unhealthy goop to throw on top of it

Fucking excuse you.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Mcdonald's University, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Fastfood Network, and I have over 300 confirmed eats. I am trained in gorilla foodfare and I'm the top eater in the entire US eatery forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of eaters (not to brag, but I know Nico Avacado personally and he's VERY upset with you) across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways using ketchup bottles alone, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed eatery, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Food Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

 

[Baka]

Fucking excuse you.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Mcdonald's University, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Fastfood Network, and I have over 300 confirmed eats. I am trained in gorilla foodfare and I'm the top eater in the entire US eatery forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of eaters (not to brag, but I know Nico Avacado personally and he's VERY upset with you) across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways using ketchup bottles alone, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed eatery, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Food Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

*teleports behind you*

I'm sorry you thought you stood a chance. It's sad, really...
Heh, nothin' personal kid... You know I've studied the sauce for over 9000 years... mastering the most- advanced ketchup techniques in the world. *unsheathes ketchup bottle* You ever heard of ketchup, kid? Well let me just translate it for you: ketchup means "red tomato jizz," and I've got over 9 ways to shake, squeeze, and squirt you with this one right now.

 

[Ruffles]

???? Wait

 

[One Last Username]

Fucking excuse you.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Mcdonald's University, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Fastfood Network, and I have over 300 confirmed eats. I am trained in gorilla foodfare and I'm the top eater in the entire US eatery forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of eaters (not to brag, but I know Nico Avacado personally and he's VERY upset with you) across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways using ketchup bottles alone, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed eatery, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Food Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

*teleports behind you*

I'm sorry you thought you stood a chance. It's sad, really...
Heh, nothin' personal kid... You know I've studied the sauce for over 9000 years... mastering the most- advanced ketchup techniques in the world. *unsheathes ketchup bottle* You ever heard of ketchup, kid? Well let me just translate it for you: ketchup means "red tomato jizz," and I've got over 9 ways to shake, squeeze, and squirt you with this one right now.

That was epic.