Endless Mike
Preeminent
Action Comics #337
Superman Story
Notes:
- Another cover that was featured on Superdickery, I believe. The explanation for it doesn't make it any less weirder, really.
- The opening narration refers to Superman as "the world's mightiest hero". Somewhat subjective even at this point...
- Green Arrow is mentioned in this story
Feat Catalogue:
- Spins around a cane made of a nondescript "super-hard metal" and throws it like a boomerang to slice open an armored car
- Uses "super-aim" to fire a bunch of arrows up into the air so they come back down at precisely the right angle to pin two criminals to a pair of dead trees by their clothes without injuring them
- Apparently, X-rays can't penetrate Superman's skin
- Uses super ventriloquism to call for Lois and some other nurses so the message seems seems to come over the hospital intercom
- Superman has a doctorate from a medical school and can legally perform surgery (they reference Lois Lane #12 for this, which I'll hopefully cover eventually)
- Designed and built a flying helicopter vacuum covered in lead to steal Kryptonite
Weirdness:
- The "infamous Tiger Gang" are apparently robbers who wear full-body tiger print costumes. For supposedly being so infamous, this is their only appearance.
- Get ready for this one: Superman takes turns acting like a stereotypical millionaire, a beggar, a lawyer, an Indian Chief, a surgeon, and a thief. Because, as a kid in Smallville, he once got hypnotized by a Kryptonian comet to repeat a rhyme that subconsciously made him take up those identities... the hell?
- Some stereotypical American Indians show up, who apparently have no 20th century technology despite living in America in the 1960s.
- When Superman inexplicably steals an Indian headdress and bow and arrows to catch some criminals, no one finds this odd
- Apparently multiple museums in Metropolis had samples of actual Green Kryptonite
- The flying vacuum helicopter...
Superdickery:
- Wrecks an armored car apprehending some thieves, which was really not necessary. He even thinks afterwards that his normal plan would have just been to wreck the car by hand, rather than by using a cane, and never once considers just stopping them before they reached the car or anything.
- Pressures the city to pass a bill tearing down a bunch of slums in one day with bulldozers, apparently without any regard for anyone who lived there. He even thinks how he could build better homes at super speed, but randomly decides not to, letting the city do it, which would take months.
- Steals a headdress, bow, and quiver of arrows from some American Indians (although he does give the latter two objects back... they let him keep the former)
Power Tracker:
- Nothing notable here, so still High Herald Level.
Supergirl Story
Notes:
- A response in the letters column says that Kryptonians retain their powers under blue and white stars
Feat Catalogue:
- Survives being inside a space-capsule crash landing on an alien planet while under a different colored sun, and having no powers. Somehow.
- Builds an electromagnet from components of her spaceship, and uses it to retrieve some iron - containing crystals
- Uses native alien materials to construct a "bulletproof vest"
- Despite being depowered, walks for many miles before tiring
- Performs an acrobatic trick to save an alien baby
- Prepares a trap, somehow predicting an alien will drop a rock on her at a specific place, and calculates it so that it will send a giant acorn to plug up the entrance to their underground kingdom
- With her powers back, masters an alien language in seconds by observing it from light-years away, then reads the lips of an alien in another star system to translate what he is saying
Weirdness:
- Having been published before there were any female astronauts, this comic coins the odd word "astronette" to refer to them. (At least, I've never heard of that term used anywhere else)
- While testing a NASA spacecraft, Supergirl and the ship are swept into a natural "warp stream" that takes them at FTL speed to another star system.
- Supergirl ends up in a star system with a green sun. Those don't exist in real life.
- There is a rather infamous panel in this story that also appeared on Superdickery. Now we can finally see it in context.
- Apparently living underground allowed a race of aliens to evolve the ability to shoot fire from their eyes. And to Supergirl, this makes perfect sense.
- The alien planet has "soldier plants" - trees with faces that shoot spines at anyone that comes near them
- There are also "migrating ant-men", who "tow their womenfolk on logs"
- And "giant acorn trees", that drop acorns that look just like those on Earth - except they are the size of small buildings and contain deadly gas
- A bunch of relatively primitive aliens who use stone currency and live in huts have an advanced form of invisible, fireproof plastic
Superdickery:
- Talks down to a group of aliens by saying she was using 'Earth-science they wouldn't understand'.
Power Tracker:
- I think her feats on the alien planet are enough to put her solidly in High Street Level when depowered now. High Herald Level with powers, of course.
Action Comics #338
Superman Story
Notes:
- This is an odd one since it takes place in a future time (stated to be 2966, but later retconned to 2496, so as not to conflict with the LOSH stories), featuring a future descendant of Superman. Interestingly, another version of this same future Superman would later appear in the Post-Crisis Dominus Effect storyline, published in 1998.
- This is actually the first part of a two-part story
- A reader in the letters column asked why Superman didn't use his powers to help the US win the Vietnam War. The editors replied that he "figures the U.S. is good enough to win this conflict without his help". Kind of got some bad news there...
Feat Catalogue:
- Earth-One Superman (Kal-El/Clark Kent) does not actually appear in this story, so he has no feats here.
Feat Catalogue (non-Superman):
- One of Superman's future descendants destroys a comet with a punch. Somehow the detonation of this comet released "terrific electrical power" that ripped a hole in space.
- Another future Superman flies across interstellar space
- Said future Superman inhales a super-fast growing deadly fungus while sterilizing it with heat vision, before it can fill the atmosphere of a world and possibly escape into space
- He then uses telescopic vision to trace his enemy Muto to a different star system, and flies there after him
Weirdness:
- The "Federation of Planets" (no connection to Star Trek) apparently outlawed war, and thus all of the weapons in the universe were dumped (still intact) on one single planet... which is unguarded.
- The future descendants of Superman are immune to Kryptonite, but vulnerable to "a chemical fallout left by a past atomic war, which settled in the seas of every planet". Every planet?
Superdickery:
Power Tracker:
- Superman should scale to the feats of his descendants (in fact, he should actually be stronger than them, save the Kryptonite immunity, because their bloodline was diluted with human blood) but I'm not sure how to interpret the comet feat. The generous idea would be that the punch was so powerful that it ripped open that space warp as a side effect, but it could also have been due to some weird property of the comet (also see the similar phenomenon in the next issue). Anyway, the contemporary Superman is still High Herald Level.
Supergirl Story
Notes:
- Supergirl states that there were over 1 billion Kryptonians that died when the planet exploded
- In this issue, a villain claims to be responsible for destroying Krypton, but it is revealed that he was lying
Feat Catalogue:
- Supergirl throws a bunch of boulders into the air so that they perfectly form her 'S' symbol in mid-air before falling back to the ground, where she catches them. She then throws them up again at hypersonic speeds so they explode from air friction and become fireworks
- No-sells a blast from an alien ray gun (although she pretends to be hurt by it)
- Follows an alien ship away from Earth to the far side of the moon
- Carries an alien spaceship across the universe (not sure how far this means, but still)
- Before a group of living meteors can reach the ship, she flies out into space, finds a creature that emits radiation that kills them, and brings it back, throwing it in their path to destroy them
- While in space, overhears the villain Raspor talking on the surface of a planet, and replies to him with super ventriloquism
- Somehow disabled a planet-destroying bomb buried deep under the surface of a planet, without physically touching it
- Flies back to Earth, carrying the alien spaceship with her
Weirdness:
- A pair of alien criminals are performing circus stunts on Earth for some reason
- In deep space, we see "vampire meteors", rock-like creatures that drain the life force from living organisms.
Superdickery:
- Supergirl strands an alien criminal on an abandoned planet, making him think it could explode at any moment, when it turns out he was actually innocent of the crime (destroying Krypton) that she thought he had committed. He did do other evil things, but still, that's a bit harsh.
Power Tracker:
- Still High Herald Level.
Superman Story
Notes:
- Another cover that was featured on Superdickery, I believe. The explanation for it doesn't make it any less weirder, really.
- The opening narration refers to Superman as "the world's mightiest hero". Somewhat subjective even at this point...
- Green Arrow is mentioned in this story
Feat Catalogue:
- Spins around a cane made of a nondescript "super-hard metal" and throws it like a boomerang to slice open an armored car
- Uses "super-aim" to fire a bunch of arrows up into the air so they come back down at precisely the right angle to pin two criminals to a pair of dead trees by their clothes without injuring them
- Apparently, X-rays can't penetrate Superman's skin
- Uses super ventriloquism to call for Lois and some other nurses so the message seems seems to come over the hospital intercom
- Superman has a doctorate from a medical school and can legally perform surgery (they reference Lois Lane #12 for this, which I'll hopefully cover eventually)
- Designed and built a flying helicopter vacuum covered in lead to steal Kryptonite
Weirdness:
- The "infamous Tiger Gang" are apparently robbers who wear full-body tiger print costumes. For supposedly being so infamous, this is their only appearance.
- Get ready for this one: Superman takes turns acting like a stereotypical millionaire, a beggar, a lawyer, an Indian Chief, a surgeon, and a thief. Because, as a kid in Smallville, he once got hypnotized by a Kryptonian comet to repeat a rhyme that subconsciously made him take up those identities... the hell?
- Some stereotypical American Indians show up, who apparently have no 20th century technology despite living in America in the 1960s.
- When Superman inexplicably steals an Indian headdress and bow and arrows to catch some criminals, no one finds this odd
- Apparently multiple museums in Metropolis had samples of actual Green Kryptonite
- The flying vacuum helicopter...


Superdickery:
- Wrecks an armored car apprehending some thieves, which was really not necessary. He even thinks afterwards that his normal plan would have just been to wreck the car by hand, rather than by using a cane, and never once considers just stopping them before they reached the car or anything.
- Pressures the city to pass a bill tearing down a bunch of slums in one day with bulldozers, apparently without any regard for anyone who lived there. He even thinks how he could build better homes at super speed, but randomly decides not to, letting the city do it, which would take months.
- Steals a headdress, bow, and quiver of arrows from some American Indians (although he does give the latter two objects back... they let him keep the former)
Power Tracker:
- Nothing notable here, so still High Herald Level.
Supergirl Story
Notes:
- A response in the letters column says that Kryptonians retain their powers under blue and white stars
Feat Catalogue:
- Survives being inside a space-capsule crash landing on an alien planet while under a different colored sun, and having no powers. Somehow.
- Builds an electromagnet from components of her spaceship, and uses it to retrieve some iron - containing crystals
- Uses native alien materials to construct a "bulletproof vest"
- Despite being depowered, walks for many miles before tiring
- Performs an acrobatic trick to save an alien baby
- Prepares a trap, somehow predicting an alien will drop a rock on her at a specific place, and calculates it so that it will send a giant acorn to plug up the entrance to their underground kingdom
- With her powers back, masters an alien language in seconds by observing it from light-years away, then reads the lips of an alien in another star system to translate what he is saying





Weirdness:
- Having been published before there were any female astronauts, this comic coins the odd word "astronette" to refer to them. (At least, I've never heard of that term used anywhere else)
- While testing a NASA spacecraft, Supergirl and the ship are swept into a natural "warp stream" that takes them at FTL speed to another star system.
- Supergirl ends up in a star system with a green sun. Those don't exist in real life.
- There is a rather infamous panel in this story that also appeared on Superdickery. Now we can finally see it in context.
- Apparently living underground allowed a race of aliens to evolve the ability to shoot fire from their eyes. And to Supergirl, this makes perfect sense.
- The alien planet has "soldier plants" - trees with faces that shoot spines at anyone that comes near them
- There are also "migrating ant-men", who "tow their womenfolk on logs"
- And "giant acorn trees", that drop acorns that look just like those on Earth - except they are the size of small buildings and contain deadly gas
- A bunch of relatively primitive aliens who use stone currency and live in huts have an advanced form of invisible, fireproof plastic
Superdickery:
- Talks down to a group of aliens by saying she was using 'Earth-science they wouldn't understand'.
Power Tracker:
- I think her feats on the alien planet are enough to put her solidly in High Street Level when depowered now. High Herald Level with powers, of course.
Action Comics #338
Superman Story
Notes:
- This is an odd one since it takes place in a future time (stated to be 2966, but later retconned to 2496, so as not to conflict with the LOSH stories), featuring a future descendant of Superman. Interestingly, another version of this same future Superman would later appear in the Post-Crisis Dominus Effect storyline, published in 1998.
- This is actually the first part of a two-part story
- A reader in the letters column asked why Superman didn't use his powers to help the US win the Vietnam War. The editors replied that he "figures the U.S. is good enough to win this conflict without his help". Kind of got some bad news there...
Feat Catalogue:
- Earth-One Superman (Kal-El/Clark Kent) does not actually appear in this story, so he has no feats here.
Feat Catalogue (non-Superman):
- One of Superman's future descendants destroys a comet with a punch. Somehow the detonation of this comet released "terrific electrical power" that ripped a hole in space.
- Another future Superman flies across interstellar space
- Said future Superman inhales a super-fast growing deadly fungus while sterilizing it with heat vision, before it can fill the atmosphere of a world and possibly escape into space
- He then uses telescopic vision to trace his enemy Muto to a different star system, and flies there after him




Weirdness:
- The "Federation of Planets" (no connection to Star Trek) apparently outlawed war, and thus all of the weapons in the universe were dumped (still intact) on one single planet... which is unguarded.
- The future descendants of Superman are immune to Kryptonite, but vulnerable to "a chemical fallout left by a past atomic war, which settled in the seas of every planet". Every planet?
Superdickery:
Power Tracker:
- Superman should scale to the feats of his descendants (in fact, he should actually be stronger than them, save the Kryptonite immunity, because their bloodline was diluted with human blood) but I'm not sure how to interpret the comet feat. The generous idea would be that the punch was so powerful that it ripped open that space warp as a side effect, but it could also have been due to some weird property of the comet (also see the similar phenomenon in the next issue). Anyway, the contemporary Superman is still High Herald Level.
Supergirl Story
Notes:
- Supergirl states that there were over 1 billion Kryptonians that died when the planet exploded
- In this issue, a villain claims to be responsible for destroying Krypton, but it is revealed that he was lying
Feat Catalogue:
- Supergirl throws a bunch of boulders into the air so that they perfectly form her 'S' symbol in mid-air before falling back to the ground, where she catches them. She then throws them up again at hypersonic speeds so they explode from air friction and become fireworks
- No-sells a blast from an alien ray gun (although she pretends to be hurt by it)
- Follows an alien ship away from Earth to the far side of the moon
- Carries an alien spaceship across the universe (not sure how far this means, but still)
- Before a group of living meteors can reach the ship, she flies out into space, finds a creature that emits radiation that kills them, and brings it back, throwing it in their path to destroy them
- While in space, overhears the villain Raspor talking on the surface of a planet, and replies to him with super ventriloquism
- Somehow disabled a planet-destroying bomb buried deep under the surface of a planet, without physically touching it
- Flies back to Earth, carrying the alien spaceship with her


Weirdness:
- A pair of alien criminals are performing circus stunts on Earth for some reason
- In deep space, we see "vampire meteors", rock-like creatures that drain the life force from living organisms.
Superdickery:
- Supergirl strands an alien criminal on an abandoned planet, making him think it could explode at any moment, when it turns out he was actually innocent of the crime (destroying Krypton) that she thought he had committed. He did do other evil things, but still, that's a bit harsh.

Power Tracker:
- Still High Herald Level.