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Dr_Professor83
Greatest Loser
Anyway Fuji won’t add me to the chats yet.
I hear some aren’t happy I admitted to being depressed this game. I’m not happy about it either. And I tried to downplay it and I felt like a pussy for admitting it. I’ve been leaking (metaphorically) from my eyes, ears, and nose and unraveling at the seams for awhile now lol.
Truth be told life’s been miserable lately (and just going to get worse before it gets better unfortunately). And I’ve been miserable lately bc of my poor ability to cope with it. And Mafia isn’t a good game for that. I put myself in a lose lose situation trying to play it out and took the option that was much much worse on myself anyway.
It’s no one’s fault. And I shouldn’t have subjected anyone to be playing a game with me if I couldn’t properly lock in completely. My fear of being called a coward for subbing as scum just won out and I’m sure it was the wrong one. (I know it was for me personally). I tortured myself sticking it out bc I was concerned with what people were going to think of me if I didn’t.
Obviously I’m a bitch to begin with for putting this weight of what online people in a forum community think of me but it’s just how I’m wired.
I do think if you had a perspective of what a puddle of a person I’m like in real life rn/outside of the game you’d see I did my best to not melt all over the place lol. Obviously not enough.
Obviously saying all this now or explaining it isn’t going to help that perception and just makes me look even more like a pussy lol. But well. That’s alright. It’s a lost cause anyway I’m afraid lol.
At the end of the day I’m just sorry to everyone else lol. The best you can get from me is an apology and knowing I feel worse about me and it than you do I promise. So know it’s not criticism flying over my head
I hear some aren’t happy I admitted to being depressed this game. I’m not happy about it either. And I tried to downplay it and I felt like a pussy for admitting it. I’ve been leaking (metaphorically) from my eyes, ears, and nose and unraveling at the seams for awhile now lol.
Truth be told life’s been miserable lately (and just going to get worse before it gets better unfortunately). And I’ve been miserable lately bc of my poor ability to cope with it. And Mafia isn’t a good game for that. I put myself in a lose lose situation trying to play it out and took the option that was much much worse on myself anyway.
It’s no one’s fault. And I shouldn’t have subjected anyone to be playing a game with me if I couldn’t properly lock in completely. My fear of being called a coward for subbing as scum just won out and I’m sure it was the wrong one. (I know it was for me personally). I tortured myself sticking it out bc I was concerned with what people were going to think of me if I didn’t.
Obviously I’m a bitch to begin with for putting this weight of what online people in a forum community think of me but it’s just how I’m wired.
I do think if you had a perspective of what a puddle of a person I’m like in real life rn/outside of the game you’d see I did my best to not melt all over the place lol. Obviously not enough.
Obviously saying all this now or explaining it isn’t going to help that perception and just makes me look even more like a pussy lol. But well. That’s alright. It’s a lost cause anyway I’m afraid lol.
At the end of the day I’m just sorry to everyone else lol. The best you can get from me is an apology and knowing I feel worse about me and it than you do I promise. So know it’s not criticism flying over my head
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I love indies
Youre not a bitch and you arent a lost cause, you are a dear friend and most everyone here values you. I know youre going through a lot irl but I really want you to know that we are here for you to support you. Things will get better, stay positive and remember that we value you a lot. You are one of the best persons I met online. I love you brother.
Dr_Professor83
Greatest Loser
rates optimistic /j
Thanks for being a friend Fuji. The goods news is inevitably things have to work themselves out so it’ll be okay .
It's an unranked game don't beat yourself up over it. Don't get all the bitching about you when we've had worse offenders in games with more stakes
Dr_Professor83
Greatest Loser
Also by lost cause I meant my image as a well adjusted stoic individual lol. That’s obviously irreparably in tatters lol.
Nah, I'm sure it's fine. Don't dwell on it
You know my family situation as well Prof but I have to remain optimistic, hope keeps us alive. Take care of yourself.
Thanks for being a g Charlie.
Dr_Professor83
Greatest Loser
I really tried to lock in lol. And when I first admitted to it I tried to downplay it after.
Unfortunately it became a bit of a talking point throughout the game and I wished it had just gone away immediately.
The reason I said anything at all is that I genuinely just didn’t want to try to pretend to be super high energy all game.
gg
and i hope the players who played it stay for more unranked games down the line. it's its own kind of fun
and i hope the players who played it stay for more unranked games down the line. it's its own kind of fun
Dr_Professor83
Greatest Loser
I cracked a bit under pressure. I’m sorry that it happened. For me and the rest lol
Dr_Professor83
Greatest Loser
It’s okay. I’m shifting my image to “unhinged sad court jester” I think. It’s a more natural fit lol.
It’s a matter of rebranding
@Fujishiro scum chat plz
I don't really have anything to say to help because you already know it all, so all I will add is that I hope things take a turn for the better for you soon. It's not easy, but gotta keep your head up.
Dr_Professor83
Greatest Loser
It’s appreciated lol.
Things will obviously eventually get better. Nothing is bad forever and in some ways the bad things aren’t always as bad as they seem or make them/we allow them to be worse. (Even if it’s objectively bad).
I’m trying to navigate it lol.
Again I appreciated you specifically this game lol. Just you being added to the chat did wonders for my mental stability for a bit there as someone to lean on. It acted as a bridge that helped me for a good part of the game.
Who is this referring to?