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Circus of Humorous & Humiliating Arguments Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

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Masterblack06

Man of Atom
Moderator

And he has a day of prep... interesting.
>That round 5
Doom is gonna fold the verse like a fucking wet cloth Jesus christ
 

Adamant soul

Marvelous
V.I.P. Member
I never understood the Ulq hype in the espada ranking
Like outside of the forms what exactly puts him above the other espada
Nothing really.

It's either jizzing over the transformation, or they appeal to his AOE/wank the hell out of H2 and his performance against him. Other Espada faced much stronger competition than the Ichigo he owned, then he just kind of got murked by H2.
 

Cryso Agori

V.I.P. Member
I never understood the Ulq hype in the espada ranking
Like outside of the forms what exactly puts him above the other espada
Nothing but having some presence in the manga, don't get what's up with Ulq anyway, if we're talking rival's Grimmjow's better and was actually built up as one, while Ulq needed to convince Ichigo to fight him.

Really he just seemed to be there so Ichigo could go berserk and have his own little character arc about 'hearts' other than that you could replace him and nothing would really be different.
 

Astaro

Resplendent
V.I.P. Member
Ulquiorra’s got better showings than the 3 supposedly above him minus Barragan if just for Respira being broken.

Captains with Bankai or even Shikai could hold their their own against them while Ichigo’s whose Captain level needed Bankai and Hollow Mask just to get a leg up on Ulquiorra’s Base form.

Fight was basically over the moment Ulquiorra released. And he only went into Segunda Etapa to prove a point.
 

Cryso Agori

V.I.P. Member
Ulquiorra’s got better showings than the 3 supposedly above him minus Barragan if just for Respira being broken.

Captains with Bankai or even Shikai could hold their their own against them while Ichigo’s whose Captain level needed Bankai and Hollow Mask just to get a leg up on Ulquiorra’s Base form.

Fight was basically over the moment Ulquiorra released. And he only went into Segunda Etapa to prove a point.
Except the captains were very clearly boosted in power, see SS Arc Shunsui saying he'd be KO'd by Chad's blast to keeping pace with Stark in FKT.
 

Adamant soul

Marvelous
V.I.P. Member
Ulquiorra’s got better showings than the 3 supposedly above him minus Barragan if just for Respira being broken.
No he doesn't.
Captains with Bankai or even Shikai could hold their their own against them while Ichigo’s whose Captain level needed Bankai and Hollow Mask just to get a leg up on Ulquiorra’s Base form.
You're ignoring the fact that Captains are NOT equal.

The guys fighting Stark in Shikai were the guys who survived a prolonged fight with an enraged Yamamoto and Vaizard Captains who had and were using masks themselves and still lost.

Basically all the people these Espada fought shit on the version of Ichigo Ulquiorra was fighting, with or without his mask
Fight was basically over the moment Ulquiorra released. And he only went into Segunda Etapa to prove a point.
Which only adds to the problem of him having NOTHING with which to put him above the other espada.
 

Astaro

Resplendent
V.I.P. Member
Even if we went by numbers, how well could they perform? Bleach is like DBZ where number advantages don’t matter against a superior opponent that’ll just steamroll regardless

R1 Ulquiorra even giving advice to Ichigo on how to react to him still nearly lopped his head off with a casual blitz and a Getsuga did no damage to him. Other than Shinsui, who else would perform any better than that fought the Top 3?
 

Adamant soul

Marvelous
V.I.P. Member
Weren't Shark Tits n Stark fucking with there opponents?
Stark was when the two Vaizards were doing well (and against nerfed Shunsui and Ukitake).

The second he stopped playing, he murked the two Vaizards and then got beat by Shunsui once his zanpaktou stopped fucking with him.

Harribel wasn't fucking around at all, Hitsugaya was barely able to defend himself until he could use his Hundred Flowers against her. Then he needed backup from two Vaizard Lieutenants (one of which is now a Captain mind you) to fight against her.
 

Adamant soul

Marvelous
V.I.P. Member
Even if we went by numbers, how well could they perform?
Significantly better considering they have better feats against stronger Espada.
Bleach is like DBZ where number advantages don’t matter against a superior opponent that’ll just steamroll regardless
Which is why the fact these individuals did so well against stronger Espada puts them above that version of Ichigo.
R1 Ulquiorra even giving advice to Ichigo on how to react to him still nearly lopped his head off and a Getsuga did no damage to him. Other than Shinsui, who else would perform any better than that fought the Top 3?
Most of them aside from maybe the Vaizard Lieutenants and even then you have Mashiro shitting on base Wonderweiss and Lisa holding her own solo vs Harribel.
 

Paxton

One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds
V.I.P. Member
By the way, I found the quote you so desperately need.


Oh, Lola, you poor, entirely innocent girl.

The children of man cannot choose their parents no matter how hard they try. If you had never been involved with that magician, none of this would have happened.

"Bwah! Pant, ah, bwah!!"

Late that December night, darkness filled Academy City in the cold rain.

The hospital where that doctor worked would normally have been a symbol of rescue, but right in front of it, a woman with extremely long blonde hair lay on the wet asphalt, opening and closing her mouth and seeking air while sounding like she was drowning.

And that was not a figurative expression.

That Archbishop would normally wear a beige habit and it looked like she had collapsed face down. But in truth, half her body had sank into the parking lot. Just like she was sinking into the pitch-black ocean late at night.

And there was one other person there.

No sign of that magician's original form remained because he had transformed into a lovely girl with long silver hair, a blue blazer, a witch's hat, and a cape. He smiled thinly as she whispered to the woman.

In order to kill Aleister's baby girl Lilith, Mathers had indiscriminately sent modern Western magic into the world. That greedy man had summoned Coronzon and that Great Demon had possessed Aleister's other daughter: Lola.

"The world of magic emphasizes symbolism."

The Magician Aleister Crowley.

He – or in this case, she – provided a lecture, perhaps because she had sat in the seat of Academy City's Board Chairman for so long. Or perhaps this was her fatherly side showing through since she was in the presence of her daughter.

"And that does not just apply to special individuals, silver weapons protected by a tribe, and marble ruins. Wrapping a waist band, thrusting a spear, and other perfectly ordinary actions are given an extra value. And at this point, I am not going to explain what each individual thing means. What matters is that all phenomena have meaning, Coronzon. It was not there in the first place, but just as people used up all the available internet addresses, fools like us have left almost no empty space."

She pressed down.

Lola Stuart tried desperately to climb out of the dark and wet asphalt, but Aleister pressed down on her white forehead adorned with beautiful blonde bangs.

"Now, let us follow the story of St. Margaret who worshiped the cross. Because I know you loathe those morality plays as much as I do."

The father pressed her leather shoe's heel against the daughter's forehead.

"I will step on you."

"…ister."

"That is a symbol of stripping away a demon, stealing its power, removing the disaster, and retrieving peace, Great Demon Coronzon."

"Aleister Crowleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!???"

Golden hair that symbolized devilishness wriggled after spending a very long time gathering power from the moonlight. It emitted a somewhat off-kilter fear that was different from that of a witch from the ancient past or an alien from the future. This was something outside the realm of imagination. If you faced this Great Demon while unprepared, your soul could be damaged and you could be forced to succumb no matter what your physical specs were.

But the magician who had created all of modern Western magic was different.

The silver crushed the gold.

The pressure from Aleister's foot grew as if to bury Lola's lovely face in the black asphalt. No, that was not just the silver witch's power. Academy City was that magician's holy ground. It was a reproduction of the Abbey of Thelema that had once stood on a small Italian island. She used all of that to apply a "seal" that resembled extreme gravity.

"How does it feel to be humiliatingly defeated by what is just? Now, let us move on from St. Margaret and discuss a clever little technique."

It came directly from Aleister Crowley.

"The Banner of the West. Those dual symbols and color layout will reject evil. I cannot eliminate all doubt from thy nature, so I shall protect thee by severing all ties. Furthermore, I am blameless and need not leave this location, so the evil one must remove herself in accordance with her sin!!"

Aleister Crowley had not designed Academy City for this purpose.

If she had known Lola Stuart was Great Demon Coronzon borrowing her daughter's flesh, her plan would not have taken this form from the very beginning.

But that was not what mattered.

That magician had defined what qualified as magic and controlled all that fell under that label. Even if it was a loathsome and cursed thing now, she would not allow that to hamper her skill. As much as she might hate and resent it, Aleister was still a true magician. And from that human's perspective, everything visible in the world was magic. Inhaling and exhaling, standing and sitting, walking and stopping, weeds growing from the cracks – it was all linked to the mystical.

"So you cannot escape the contract unless you complete your agreement with Mathers by killing me? I pity even you, Great Demon."

"…Kh…"

"Still, that is no reason to hold back."

Nothing special was needed.

Modern Western magic was a system of techniques set up to give everyone equal access to the mystical, no special talent required. And that was exactly what had torn apart a certain magician's family.

Aleister made an announcement to the Great Demon that could only continue following Mathers's orders even after his death.

"I will use everything I have built up to stop you, Coronzon."

She would not even let her opponent speak.

Even if she had been possessed for so long, what was in that father's heart as she stomped on her daughter's face?

"Even all this is no more than buying time. I cannot kill you the way things are. But how much can I do in the time this buys me? Give it some thought inside the seal. Just as every country and region in the world has used the exact same punishment since BCE times, having our time wasted is a burden for us all. Oh, but we know each other well enough that I am sure you will understand. And that is why this will fill you with more fear and suffering than anything else."

There was a sticky, muddy sound.

The pressure felt like an asteroid at this point. Aleister Crowley used her heel to shove the Great Demon into the dark wet asphalt.

Then, with an odd sound reminiscent of a punishing lightning strike from heaven, an unnatural light flashed through several of the roads that acted as Academy City's arteries.

That light drew a giant equilateral triangle with a cross carved into the center.

Anyone who knew anything about modern Western magic would immediately recognize it as the Banner of the West. That symbol of exorcism was one of the most convenient Symbolic Weapons that protected the spell user by monitoring and rejecting the approach of evil power on the ceremonial grounds – for example, something resembling Telesma that was out to get humans. The banner was so useful because good and useful powers would remain unmolested while only the evil and useless powers were affected.

It only took an instant.

Once the light vanished, nothing remained.

Not even the golden demon sinking into the asphalt.

Aleister spoke as if spitting a curse down at the wet road surface.

"…It all begins here. I will use this time to its fullest."

Yes, this was only the preliminary round. It only treated the symptoms. That silver girl was a skilled enough magician to fully know this was no time to be optimistic. A seal that used an entire city and measured dozens of kilometers across might sound nice, but the city had not been designed for use against Coronzon. She had only connected the spider web of roads in a meaningful way. It was a makeshift method that took inspiration from the giant circle Karasuma Fran had used in her attempt to summon Kamisato Kakeru.

That Great Demon would tear through something on this level.

After all, if Aleister's predictions were correct, Coronzon had enough direct firepower to push back Holy Guardian Angel Aiwass.

Currently, the human race had no real method of fighting back.

If she learned how to fight this makeshift delaying tactic, it was all over. The next time Lola Stuart made an appearance, no one would be able to stop her.

"…Kh."

The silver girl could be heard coughing up blood.

This was not the conflict between scientific esper powers and occult magic. Before even getting to that, magic was a dangerous thing in and of itself. So much so that the person using it could take someone's life without even realizing it.

She could not allow the negative effects of her magic to be released into the wide world.

She ensured the recoil of her magic was sent back to her own body. The girl held a hand to her mouth but still smiled thinly. As if to say this was the proper form of a magician. Even as the midwinter rain struck her, that human looked down at the empty ground and spoke.

"…I will take it all back, Coronzon. Along with my second daughter."
Remind me what this quote is for again?
 

Paxton

One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds
V.I.P. Member
>That round 5
Doom is gonna fold the verse like a fucking wet cloth Jesus christ
I know Doom is ridiculous and all, but is he really THAT bullshit even with no prep?
And Aleister himself has a day of prep.

I thought there'd at least be a fight :hm
 
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